XDoofs
by Punky Cobain
Summary: Basically this is a super good parody of the 1st X-men Movie. Please read and Reveiw, more chapters to come! song copyright of the great Metallica
1. Fast times at Mutant High

Chapter 1  
  
We see a bunch of unhappy looking people walking in the rain- we close up on a family of three, a mom, a dad, and a boy who looks about 13.  
  
Boy- I'm scared mother!  
  
Mom- Don't be scared my little weinershnitzle, all they are going to do to us is give us a nice tattoo and burn me and your father in a big oven.  
  
Dad- Yes, nothing to be scared about, you are going to be a evil mutant Eric!  
  
Eric- YAY!!!! I've always wanted to be an evil mutant!  
  
The soldiers come and take Eric from his family  
  
Eric- HA HA HA! Let me show you my eeeeevil mutant powers, for one day I will rule the world! Muahahahahahaha!  
  
Soldier- Shut up! *whacks him over the head with a gun*  
  
Eric- Nighty Night! *Passes out*  
  
Close scene.  
  
Lets just skip the whole rouge intro. I don't like her.  
  
Washington DC, 'bout 60 years later  
  
Jean Grey is standing in front of lots 'o mean politicians  
  
Jean- Be nice to us muties! We didn't do anything bad. yet.  
  
Mean Senator Dude- Why??? We're American, we tend to be biased about things. So, HA!  
  
Jean- Well, I guess you are right.  
  
Bar somewhere in Canada  
  
Wolvie- Beat that! You don't have adamantium claws!!! NANA NANA BOO BOO! *spits on bald guy*  
  
Bald Guy- well, I have my super shiny head for defense. see? *bends over so the light reflects off his head* Wolvie- Ahhhh! My eyes you blinded me!!!!  
  
Rouge sitting at the bar  
  
Bartender(to Rouge)- You want something new honey? You're stickin' with water.  
  
Rouge- Sure, I'll have a rum and coke.  
  
Bartender- I'll have to see some ID first.  
  
Rogue- well I uhhh. (points) LOOK A MONKEY!!!!!  
  
Bartender- Where, where??? Hey wait! You forgot your rum and coke!  
  
*Rogue runs out of bar*  
  
Wolverine's trailer  
  
Wolvie hears noise in back, goes to check it out  
  
Wolvie- I think there's someone in the back of my trailer, I'm gonna go check it out! *walks over to back of trailer*  
  
Wolvie- OMG! There is a chick in the back of my truck!  
  
Rogue- Hi! Can I eat all your food and ask you personal questions?  
  
Wolvie- Heck, sure why not!  
  
*we see them get in the car and drive down the road* Wolvie- hey, lets sing a song!!! As I was going over the cork and kerry mountains, I saw captain Farrell, and his money he was countin'. I first produced my pistol.  
  
Rogue- Wait wait wait, what the hell are you singing???  
  
Wolvie- Whiskey in The Jar!  
  
Rogue-Whatever. OMG, ITS SABERTOOTH!  
  
Sabertooth pops out of the bushes Wolvie- I'll take care of it!  
  
ST beats the crap out of Wolverine we see Cyclops(major hottie) and Storm in the backround  
  
Cyclops(in a manly sexy superhero voice)- I'll save you!!!  
  
Storm- and I'll sit here and laugh! HAHAHAHA!  
  
They pull Wolverine and Rogue out of the burning trailer, and they go off to the X-Lair  
  
See what happens next with our heros as they prepare to take on MAGNETO!!!!! To be continued. DUN DUN DUN! ( 


	2. The pimple on the butt of life Wolverine...

We see Wolverine lying down on a table and so on and so forth. Jean Grey walks in, does the thing with the needle then.  
  
Wolvie *jumping up*- BOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Jean- Dammit you scared me!  
  
Wolvie- Oh sorry. Hey, you're hot.  
  
Jean- Whatever. SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wolverine runs out of the hospital thang, hears voices, goes upstairs only wearing a leopard spotted thong. ( Runs accidentally-on purpose into Professor X's classroom. *for my spoof I will have professor x speak entirely in espanol.* Xavier- Buenos Dias, Logan, yo soy Charles Xavier, ¿Usted tienen gusto de un poco de desayuno? *good morning, Logan, I'm Charles Xavier, would you like some breakfast*  
  
Wolvie- Where am I?  
  
X- Tu eres en mi colegio para el dotado. Para los mutantes. *you're in my school for the gifted. For mutants.*  
  
Wolvie- Hey, wheels, do you speak English????  
  
X- No, no habla ingles, pero yo soy muy feo y calvo. *no I don't speak English, but I am very ugly and bald.*  
  
Wolvie- Great to know.  
  
Cyclops and Storm walk in.  
  
X- ah, quisiera que usted resolviera Scott Summers, también llamado los cyclops, y Ororo Munroe, también llamado Storm. *I would like you to meet Scott Summers, also called Cyclops, and Ororo Munroe, also called Storm.*  
  
Wolvie- Nice ta meetcha, Scott *sticks out his hand*  
  
Cyclops gives him the eeeeeevil eye, or sunglasses that is.  
  
Wolvie- ooooooookay.  
  
X- ahorraron su vida. *they saved your life*  
  
Jean walks in.  
  
Wolvie- Well, hello there.  
  
Jean- Did I mention you look ridiculous in that thong???  
  
Wolvie- You dig it???  
  
Jean- No, not really, my boyfriend looks way hotter in thongs. Oh, sorry, you were saying something professor?  
  
X- No, es hora para la escena de cerrarse. *no its time for the scene to close*  
  
SCENE CLOSES 


End file.
